How to give advice in Japanese
一度、休みを取ってみたらどうですか。
ichido, yasumi o totte mitara dō desu ka.
“Why not try taking some time off?”
When: Offering an idea to someone who is stuck
The moment
Over ramen in Tokyo, a friend tells you their workload is crushing them and they are thinking of quitting. You listen, then help them find one next step.
B1 · Unit 2 · Stories & feelings
The lines
Suggesting with 〜たらどうですか
The everyday suggestion is 「一度、休みを取ってみたらどうですか。」 — how about trying to take some time off? Adding 一度 and 〜てみる turns it into a low-pressure experiment rather than an instruction.
一度、休みを取ってみたらどうですか。
ichido, yasumi o totte mitara dō desu ka.
“Why not try taking some time off?”
When to use it: Offering an idea to someone who is stuck
What you’ll hear back: そうですね、考えてみます。 sō desu ne, kangaete mimasu. (You are right, I will think about it.)
If it were me
To give an opinion without telling someone what to do, put yourself in their shoes: 「私だったら、正直に上司に話しますね。」 The 〜だったら frame plus a final ね marks it as your personal take, so they can disagree freely.
私だったら、正直に上司に話しますね。
watashi dattara, shōjiki ni jōshi ni hanashimasu ne.
“If it were me, I'd talk honestly with my boss.”
When to use it: Sharing what you would do in their situation
What you’ll hear back: やっぱりそうですよね。 yappari sō desu yo ne. (Yeah, that is what I thought too.)
Words for this scene
| Japanese | Romaji | English |
|---|---|---|
| もう誰かに相談してみましたか | mō dareka ni sōdan shite mimashita ka | have you tried talking to someone about it yet? |
大変そうですね。もう誰かに相談してみましたか。 That sounds rough. Have you tried talking to someone about it yet? Tip: Ask before advising, so you do not suggest what they already did. | ||
| 一人で抱え込まないほうがいいですよ | hitori de kakaekomanai hō ga ii desu yo | you should not carry it all by yourself |
一人で抱え込まないほうがいいですよ。話すだけでも楽になりますから。 You should not carry it all by yourself. Just talking about it makes it lighter. Tip: 抱え込む names the very Japanese habit of bottling things up alone. | ||
| 余計なお世話かもしれませんが | yokei na osewa kamoshiremasen ga | this may be none of my business, but |
余計なお世話かもしれませんが、今日は早く帰ったほうがいいと思います。 This may be none of my business, but I think you should go home early today. Tip: Buys permission before advice nobody asked you for. | ||
Your objective
Ask a question to understand the problem, suggest one thing they could try, and gently warn them about one risk.
- a question about the problem
- a suggestion
- a gentle warning
Lines that get it done
- もう誰かに相談してみましたか · mō dareka ni sōdan shite mimashita ka · have you tried talking to someone about it yet?
- 一人で抱え込まないほうがいいですよ · hitori de kakaekomanai hō ga ii desu yo · you should not carry it all by yourself
In the live scene the objective stays on screen, and the Replay afterwards says whether you got it done.
Check yourself
1. Your friend has not taken a day off in months. Which is the natural why-do-you-not-try-it suggestion?
- 一度、休みを取ってみたらどうですか。
- 一度、休みを取らなければなりませんか。
- 一度、休みを取ればいいですか。
- 一度、休みを取るのはどうしますか。
Show the answer
一度、休みを取ってみたらどうですか。
〜てみたらどうですか floats the idea; 〜ばいいですか asks for instructions about yourself.
2. How do you say: If it were me, I would be honest with my boss?
- 私だったら、正直に上司に話しますね。
- 私なら、正直に上司に話してください。
- 私は正直に上司に話したらどうですか。
- 私でしたら、正直に上司に話しましょうか。
Show the answer
私だったら、正直に上司に話しますね。
私だったら plus a 〜ます verb states your own hypothetical choice, leaving the decision to them.
3. Which set phrase softens advice your friend never asked for?
- 余計なお世話かもしれませんが
- つまらないものですが
- お世話になっております
- おかげさまで
Show the answer
余計なお世話かもしれませんが
つまらないものですが goes with a gift, and the other two are business greetings, not advice softeners.