How to give advice in English
If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first.
“In your place, I would talk to your boss first.”
When: When a friend asks what you would do
The moment
You're walking through Central Park with a friend who hates her new job and doesn't know what to do. Listen, then suggest a few ideas and gently warn her about a bad move.
B1 · Unit 2 · Stories & feelings
The lines
Putting yourself in their shoes
To give strong advice kindly, imagine you are the other person: "If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first." Use "were" (not "was") and "I'd" for "I would".
If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first.
“In your place, I would talk to your boss first.”
When to use it: When a friend asks what you would do
What you’ll hear back: Yeah, maybe you're right. (Maybe that is a good idea.)
Suggesting with a question
A question sounds softer than an order. "Have you tried talking to HR about it?" lets your friend decide. Use "tried" plus a verb with -ing.
Have you tried talking to HR about it?
“Did you try to talk about it with the people in HR?”
When to use it: Offering an idea without pushing
What you’ll hear back: Not yet, but that's a good idea.
Words for this scene
| Word or phrase | Say it | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| You might want to... | yuh MAIT WAH-nuh | It could be a good idea to... |
You might want to update your résumé, just in case. It could be a good idea to make your résumé new again, just to be safe. Tip: Very polite; Americans use it at work and with friends. | ||
| Why don't you...? | wai-DOHN-chuh | Here is an idea for you: you could... |
Why don't you take a couple days off and think about it? Here is an idea: stop working for two days and think about it. Tip: It's a friendly suggestion, not a real question about reasons. | ||
| Just be careful not to... | just bee KAIR-ful NAHT-tuh | Try hard to avoid doing... |
Just be careful not to quit before you have another offer. Try to avoid leaving your job before another company wants you. Tip: "Just" softens the warning so it doesn't sound like a lecture. | ||
Your objective
Ask a question to understand the problem, suggest one thing they could try, and gently warn them about one risk.
- a question about the problem
- a suggestion
- a gentle warning
Lines that get it done
- Have you tried talking to HR about it?
- If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first.
In the live scene the objective stays on screen, and the Replay afterwards says whether you got it done.
Check yourself
1. Your friend asks what you would do in her situation. What do you say?
- If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first.
- If I am you, I would talked to your boss first.
- If I was you, I will talk to your boss first.
- If I were you, I talk to your boss first.
Show the answer
If I were you, I'd talk to your boss first.
The pattern is "If I were you, I'd (I would) + verb".
2. Your roommate says, "Why don't you call the landlord?" What does he mean?
- He thinks calling the landlord is a good idea.
- He wants to know the reason you didn't call.
- He thinks you should not call the landlord.
- He is angry that you called the landlord.
Show the answer
He thinks calling the landlord is a good idea.
"Why don't you...?" is a suggestion, not a real question about your reasons.
3. You want to gently warn a friend about signing a lease too fast. Which sounds most natural?
- Just be careful not to sign anything too fast.
- Just be careful to not signing anything too fast.
- You must not to sign anything too fast.
- Be careful for no sign anything too fast.
Show the answer
Just be careful not to sign anything too fast.
Use "be careful not to" + base verb, and "just" keeps it friendly.