How to disagree politely in Japanese
確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
tashika ni sō desu ne. demo, inaka ni wa inaka no yosa ga arimasu yo.
“That's true. But the countryside has its own good points.”
When: When your friend has just made a fair point
The moment
You are eating ramen in Tokyo with a friend who insists city life beats the countryside and that tonkotsu beats every other broth. You want to grant him a point, push back on the rest, and keep the whole thing good-natured.
B1 · Unit 4 · Culture & conversation
The lines
Concede, then counter
Grant the point first with 「確かにそうですね。」 and turn it with でも: 「確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。」 Skipping the concession is what makes disagreement sound sharp in Japanese.
確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
tashika ni sō desu ne. demo, inaka ni wa inaka no yosa ga arimasu yo.
“That's true. But the countryside has its own good points.”
When to use it: When your friend has just made a fair point
What you’ll hear back: 例えば、どんなところですか。 tatoeba, donna tokoro desu ka. (Like what, for example?)
Closing it warmly
When neither of you will budge, call it taste: 「まあ、これは好みの問題ですね。」 It ends the argument without anyone losing.
まあ、これは好みの問題ですね。
mā, kore wa konomi no mondai desu ne.
“Well, it's a matter of taste.”
When to use it: Wrapping up a debate nobody is going to win
What you’ll hear back: そうですね。今度、食べ比べましょう。 sō desu ne. kondo, tabekurabemashō. (True. Let's do a taste test next time.)
Words for this scene
| Japanese | Romaji | English |
|---|---|---|
| 言いたいことは分かりますけど | iitai koto wa wakarimasu kedo | I see what you mean, but |
言いたいことは分かりますけど、私はそう思いません。 I see what you mean, but I don't think so. Tip: The けど does the disagreeing, so your tone stays friendly. | ||
| そうとも限りませんよ。 | sō to mo kagirimasen yo | That's not necessarily so. |
田舎は不便だと言われますけど、そうとも限りませんよ。 People say the countryside is inconvenient, but that's not necessarily so. Tip: Pushes back on a generalisation without calling anyone wrong. | ||
| 私はやっぱり田舎派です。 | watashi wa yappari inaka-ha desu | I'm a countryside person, when it comes down to it. |
便利なのは都会ですけど、私はやっぱり田舎派です。 The city is convenient, but I'm still a countryside person. Tip: 〜派 names your camp, the way friends say 犬派 or 猫派. | ||
Your objective
Disagree with their claim and give a reason, admit one point where they’re right, and keep it friendly.
- your disagreement
- a reason for your side
- a point you concede
Lines that get it done
- 確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
- まあ、これは好みの問題ですね。
In the live scene the objective stays on screen, and the Replay afterwards says whether you got it done.
Check yourself
1. Your friend makes a fair point about city life, but you still disagree. What do you say?
- 確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
- 確かにそうですね。だから、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
- 違います。田舎の方がいいです。
- そうですか。田舎のよさが分かりません。
Show the answer
確かにそうですね。でも、田舎には田舎のよさがありますよ。
確かに grants his point and でも turns it; だから would mean you agree with him.
2. You want to disagree with him without sounding blunt. What do you say?
- 言いたいことは分かりますけど、私はそう思いません。
- 言いたいことは分かりますから、私はそう思いません。
- 言いたいことが分かりません。
- 何を言っているんですか。
Show the answer
言いたいことは分かりますけど、私はそう思いません。
けど softens the turn, while から would say you disagree because you understood him.
3. Neither of you will give in and you want to close on a laugh. What do you say?
- まあ、これは好みの問題ですね。
- まあ、これは時間の問題ですね。
- まあ、どうでもいいですね。
- まあ、これで私の勝ちですね。
Show the answer
まあ、これは好みの問題ですね。
好みの問題 calls it a matter of taste, so you both get to keep your position.